I Divided Myself by Zero . . .

(Actually it was a while ago, 5/22/09, and things have been different ever since. Persons taking Calculus 2 and other math classes should exercise caution when such temptations come to them.)

I divided myself by zero,

So now I'm undefined,

And assuming I was a finite quantity to begin with

Now I'm infinite

(And by the way this isn't a poem, I just like writing in equation-esque if-then-therefores)

So since I'm infinite I'm everything

Which means the only thing I can now divide myself by is myself.

So I'll divide myself by myself--

Infinity by infinity--

But anything divided by itself is one.

(Although infinity divided by infinity is still infinity.)

So now I am infinity, but I may also think of myself as one.

But now I have two ways of conceptualizing myself,

And I myself am separate from either conceptualization,

So that makes three

And really I'm not sure who or what I am

If not everything

Which is what I was to begin with!

Well, ever since I divided by zero--

I'm undefined, and defined also,

Which somehow seems even less defined

Than being simply undefined entirely.

But now I have an identity crisis on my hands--

It is very dangerous to divide oneself by zero.

It's just that it's so pleasant to call oneself infinite,

Though rather disorienting.

I suppose it is good to be both infinite and finite,

For to be finite alone is unsatisfying.

Yes, I think I must be both.

That is why I must be y=tanx--

So that I can swoop off to infinity,

Reappear racing towards the x-axis from negative infinity,

Slow down and leisurely observe the finite realm in which I find myself,

And swoop off to infinity again.

(Oh dear. I am not so sure now.

Is this a poem? Perhaps it's undefined.)